How experts split up a family estate
Posted on September 16, 2025
When it comes to estate planning, many parents instinctively want to divide their assets equally among their children. However, treating children exactly the same in an estate plan may not be the best course of action. Sometimes it leads to unintended consequences, resentment or financial difficulty for one child while the other thrives. True fairness often means giving according to need and ability, rather than simply splitting assets evenly.
Consider individual circumstances
Imagine two adult children with very different life paths. One son has always had strong financial discipline, he works in the family business and has a plan to secure his future. His connection to the family business means he may already have a financial foundation and a steady path toward long-term success.
The other son doesn’t work in the business. He has a growing family and struggles to make ends meet. His financial difficulties could stem from any number of causes, including career instability, unexpected events, poor spending habits combined with a lack of money management skills and knowledge. Without proper planning, an inheritance given to this child in a lump sum could be quickly depleted, leaving him and his family without lasting financial security.
Structuring an estate plan for fairness
We often recommend to clients that they establish a trust for the adult child who needs more financial structure in order to protect his assets. A trust can give him a lifetime of financial support and confidence. An additional safety measure would be to appoint a corporate trustee, co-trustee or personal representative. At Florida Trust Wealth Management, we frequently serve in this capacity, helping beneficiaries with sound financial guidance and oversight of trust distributions for essential expenses such as housing, education and medical care, ensuring financial stability without unrestricted access to funds.
In contrast, there are other options for the child who is more financially stable. He could receive partial or total ownership of the family business he worked to grow. Or he could receive assets in the form of cash or investment accounts, knowing that he has the skill set and disposition to make the most of this opportunity. Our wealth advisors work with many second-generation beneficiaries who are enjoying the transfer of wealth from their parents’ estates, by preserving and growing their assets.
Balancing lifetime gifts
Parents often provide financial help to one child during their lifetime for an array of reasons. A well-structured estate plan can account for these past gifts to ensure fairness while making final distributions. If one child has already received significant financial support, adjustments to the dollar value or percentage of assets distributed through the will or the trust can help balance the overall lifetime inheritance for each child after your passing.
Communicating your plan
One of the most critical aspects of fair gifting is transparency. We encourage parents to have open conversations with their children about their estate plans to help set expectations and prevent misunderstandings. Clearly explaining the reasoning behind different allocations can reduce potential conflicts. Our trust officers serve as an unbiased advisor in these meetings, assisting with delivering this news, explaining the heart-felt plan and answering questions.
The bottom line
Estate planning should be about meeting the needs of each child in a way that is fair, not necessarily equal. By taking an individualized approach, parents can provide financial security while also recognizing the unique challenges and strengths of each child. Contact us to assist you through this important planning process.
Virginia Cabai, JD
Fiduciary Services
Kendall Luthringer
Trust Services
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